Jakob

Jakob was my first baby so I wanted to share his story...

I got pregnant on October 15th, 2005. I was so excited. I would have been a single mom because the dad wanted nothing to do with the baby but I had a feeling I could do it on my own and I knew that my baby would make me extremely happy. I was sick through most of my pregnancy. Everyone kept telling me "Don't worry, the morning sickness will go away when you're about 3-4 months along" but it never seemed to go away. I lost a total of 20 lbs in the first 4 and a half months of my pregnancy and then the last month before I lost Jakob I suddenly gained about 30 lbs. It was really strange to me. One day when I left work I had this really strange pain in my lower chest/upper abdomen area and it was just getting worse and worse. I checked my blood pressure at a grocery store because the Dr's had told me to keep an eye on it since it had been a little elevated since I got pregnant. Well when I checked it at the store, it was 170 over 105. I didn't know how bad that was but my mom also said that blood pressure goes up when you're in pain anyway so I went home and tried to relax. Every way I sat or laid down I was just in horrible pain. I felt like I couldn't breathe. That night my sister sent me a message asking how I was doing and I told her I was in a lot of pain and I was really scared that something was wrong. Within minutes my mom called and asked what was wrong. She came to get me and took me to the ER. I was 19 weeks and 6 days at the time. I guess if you're less than 20 weeks then the ER takes you but anything more than 20 weeks they send you to labor and delivery. So they checked everything they could think of and decided it was just heartburn. They sent me home with some medicine and I felt ok the next day. But the day after that the pain came back just as bad. This was a Tuesday. I called my OB but she was out of the office that day so I called another Dr in the same clinic and went to see her. She said the same thing, heartburn. But the next morning my OB's Secretary left me a voice mail saying that I had to come in right away. I called her back and she asked if I was on my way, I told her no but I could come in. As soon as I got there the nurse was already waiting for me, didn't wait for me to check in or anything. She checked my blood pressure and had me pee in a cup and all and then the Dr came in. She saw me and my roommate laughing and she said "I need you to take this seriously. I need you (pointing at my roommate) to take her straight to the University Hospital and don't stop on the way. Go to Labor and delivery and Dr. Silver, a High Risk Dr is waiting for you. And I'm sorry but (and I saw her hold back tears) don't plan on coming home with a baby." I instantly started balling my eyes out. I had no idea what was going on or why I wouldn't be leaving with my baby. I was freaking out. I called my mom and told her what was going on and she said she'd meet me at the hospital. When we got there I had about 8 nurses all start asking me questions and poking me with needles and hooking me up to machines. Finally one of them told me that the Dr thought I had preeclampsia. My blood pressure was 190/120 and my liver enzymes were low (I honestly can't remember if they were low or high, I got so confused) and my blood plateletts were low. They took blood every two hours. A couple hours later the Dr came in and told me that I definitely had Pre-eclampsia and that I had 24 hours to decide whether I wanted to try to carry the baby longer to let him live or if I wanted to just induce labor and lose the risk of both of us dying. I had no idea what to say. But 2 hours later another set of Dr's came in and said that my plateletts had dropped so much that I had HELLP syndrome which is the worst form of Preeclampsia and I was almost to where I would need a blood transfusion so they had to induce immediately and I basically didn't have a choice. That was all Wednesday.

Friday morning, March 3rd, 2006, I delivered a beautiful baby boy who was only 215 grams (they thought I had the preeclampsia long enough that he was underdeveloped) and he was 9 inches long. I named him Jakob Donald (Donald after my dad). He was so tiny and so helpless. His nose and mouth were perfectly shaped and his fingers and toes were perfect. I cried all that night and the next day and I still cry a lot from losing him. The hospital kept him until I went home a week later so I could see him whenever I wanted. They also made little hand and foot molds for me to take hom and they took pictures of him for me. I got my baby cremated and I keep some of his ashes in a locket around my neck so he's always with me.